Reflection on God Our Portion

“I cry out to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” (Psalm 142:5: The Book of Common Prayer, p.798).

I am drawn to the words, “You,,,,are my portion in the land of the living.”

The world around me tells me that I will never be satisfied unless I own the biggest, the fastest, the most pleasurable.   Some around me have a larger portion then I do. I probably have a larger portion than others in some things.  Consumerism says that unless I have the biggest portion of everything, I am missing something in life.  The weight loss consumer market shames me and others by telling us that unless we buy their products to make us look more like the status quo our lives are worthless.

In Chapter 34 of The Rule of Saint Benedict entitled Distribution of Goods According to Need, he quotes from Acts 4;35.  “Distribution was made to each as he had need.”  In the rest of the chapter,  Benedict offers advice for those who need more and those who need less.  He is telling us that God knows our needs better than we do. Benedict’s Rule is a balance between strictness and flexibility.   He recognizes our need to honor God in one another, but leaves the decision of what to work on up to us individually.

The Psalmist and St. Benedict are reminding us that God is our portion who provides for each of us from the fullness of God’s Self in grace and love.  Our false sense of self says we never have enough, or makes us guilty if we have too much because of circumstances beyond our control.  As we submit ourselves to God through contemplative prayer we are drawn into the mystical experience that God’s Truth is all we need.  In God is our true selves.  In God is our sense of love and acceptance of where we are.  In God is our grace to let go of ourselves and find strength and endurance to keep following the path to where God wants us to be.  After all, God is our portion in the land of the living.

How is God your portion in the land of the living?

Amen.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

See: http://www.cos-osb.org

Reflection on Contemplating Forgiveness

Peter came and said to Jesus, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. (Taken from Matthew 18:21-35, NRSV).

I have to begin with saying that I often dislike sermons based on this Gospel parable.  Jesus does sound a little like he is being mean.  What makes me feel that way?  Answer.  My false sense of self.

Admittedly, I have my father’s stubborn streak within me.  I struggle a lot to admit that I have made a mistake, offended someone or had a hard time forgiving someone else who may have hurt me.  What makes me feel this way?  Answer.  My false sense of self.

My false sense of self lies to me.  It tells me that unless I am correct about everything; I am not loved.  It tells me that unless I settle the score; I am useless.  It tells me that unless I get everything my way; I am without hope.

To contemplate God’s forgiveness means that I have to let go of it all.  If i am going to experience the mystical presence of God, I have to give it all up and trust in God, and not get everything right on my own terms.  Yet, I am still faced with a false sense of self here.  Who am I to believe  that if I don’t do all the letting go and giving up, that God’s enlightening presence cannot do wonderful things in and through me?  What if I am still hanging on to having to be right about letting go and giving up, is me holding on to a false sense of self?  The answer.  I need God to help me let go and to give it up.  Jesus said in John 15:5b “apart from me, you can do nothing.”

Here those words from the Prologue of Saint Benedict’s Rule apply. “Listen!  Incline the ear of your heart.”  Contemplation of God’s work of grace in forgiveness begins when we listen to God within ourselves even with everything in us that needs redemption.  God reveals God’s Self to us in what is messy and imperfect.  The Nativity and the Cross are our claim to God’s work in our stinky and brutal messes.  They reveal that God is closest to us, giving us God’s light and love even when we have emotions about memories that we cannot overcome.  When we have pieces that do not fit together, God is still seeing us from God’s perspective as God’s Beloved with whom God is well-pleased.

I have to wonder if our biggest barrier to forgiving others, is because we need God’s help to forgive ourselves.  Even seventy-seven times.

What is your contemplative experience with God in those places where it is difficult to forgive?

Amen.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

See: http://www.cos-osb.org

 

 

Reflection on Consuming the Word

 

Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy
and the delight of my heart; for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts. (Jeremiah 15:16, NRSV).

There is an old saying,  “You are what you eat.”  In that case, many of us are pork, beef, chicken, vegetables and more.  As human beings we are always searching for something new to eat.  I look up new recipes all the time.  It is also true that when we eat something we like, we savor it.  We can’t seem to get enough of it.

Psalm 34:8 reads “Taste and see that the Lord is good…”

Our biggest obstacle to searching for God is our false-sense of self.  The notion that everything must bring us some kind of pleasure.  Nothing should challenge us to re-evaluate ourselves and what our hungry souls are really longing for.

The writer of Jeremiah is acknowledging that finding God’s words is such an immense delight, that he knows that God is calling him to something greater.  God satisfies more than just our hungry heart.  God’s words fill us with more than warm fuzzy feelings.  God gives us a revelation of God and ourselves that defies human logic and emotional sensations.  God fills us with a love when God’s truth in the Holy Spirit meets our wounded souls, and our search for union with God finds a place within our own spiritual truth.

In God’s words we can contemplate the wonder of God’s amazing love and faithfulness as we turn ourselves over in obedience to the One who has given all to redeem us.  The words will shake us up and call us to a conversion of life.  They will lead us to know with the Prophet that we too are called by our God who longs for us to find our true selves in Christ who calls us each by name.  Can anything be more wondrously mystical than that?

“What page of the inspired books of the Old and New Testaments is not the truest guides for human life?” (RB 1980: The Rule of Saint Benedict in Latin and English, chapter 72:3, p.296-297).

Have you found and eaten God’s words in your life?

Amen.

Brother Anselm Philip King-Lowe, OSB

See: http://www.cos-osb.org